Journal Entry

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P.S: The Day

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Where do I start my story? Should I begin from the day it all happened or the day I had a premonition? Well...lets keep the latter for another day. It was one of those comfortable months in a small town of Tamil Nadu where people went about their businesses quietly. I was a happy working woman. In fact, I couldn’t have been happier. I was working in an organization which was my extended family, had been married to the man I loved since past six years, had a naughty little four and half year old to run behind and was  five months pregnant with our second baby. I was on cloud nine. Which woman wouldn’t be???  On top of it, I was now walking, rather rolling, like an unguided ball due to my baby bump. Like always, reached my office and immersed myself into a long-pending file. My phone rang and my heart skipped beats. He always had this effect on me even after six years of marriage. We spoke for a few minutes as he was in a hurry to go for his sortie. I never knew that it was the last
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P.S: Healing

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The most difficult task after a loss is to heal oneself. It is not at all easy. But then, it is not difficult too. Also, every individual has his or her pace in path to healing. So, should one let time do the needful? Well...the answer can differ from person to person. It is true that every individual has a coping technique that is unique to him or her. The person may or may not be aware of the existence of such a technique but then it does manifest itself when need arises. In my case I found solace in writing. In fact, I pour my heart when I pen my thoughts. Some said I shouldn't because that made me seem vulnerable. Others said it showed them I was healing. As far as I was concerned, I was rediscovering myself. Like me, there are many who have found their own ways and means to overcome grief. And... it is necessary. No grieving results in no healing and it thereafter leads to a vicious circle of pain, hurt, despair and depression. It is like entering a bottomless pit and rea
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PhoenixStory: An Intro

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I started this blog as a virtual diary for penning my thoughts so that I can heal myself. Who am I? Well...the world calls me a widow, the forces call me a war widow, but I call myself a married woman whose husband is now in a place akin to Alice's Wonderland. It could even be Peter Pan's Neverland for all I care. The bottom line is that we no longer physically live together because of unforseen circumstances or as is popular in the forces "due to service exigencies". Do I regret the kind of life I am presently living? To be brutally honest, YES, I mean, who likes to move around amidst people with their eyes either filled with pity  (as in "poor thing") or sarcasm (as in "look at her!!! No shame and no remorse!!!). Or its at times lust whereby people think that I am readily available to toy around with since I have "no strings attached" now. Well, its been six years and attitudes of majority is yet to change.  Yet, I have now stopped bother
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